Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
