I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
