it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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