She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
