So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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