i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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