No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
