Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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