You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
