On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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