So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't turn off my feet"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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