I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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