I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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