it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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