weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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