I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I faked an abortion last night.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
