I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
