When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
