Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
