Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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