just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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