I'm gonna have a badass scar
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My dick has a subreddit
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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