so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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