I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize