God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
