Michael Bay diarrhea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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