Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
