We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
