forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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