i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
