But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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