so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
