Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
