I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Randomize
