Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
