i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
