i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize