I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
