I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
where am i from again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
