I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
