i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
