i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
