you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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