Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
