So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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