What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My vagina just recognized that song.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
