I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
