i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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