Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
