Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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