Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
