As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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