We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
