i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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