I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I could make wine with my vomit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She bit a glass in half.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
