I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
