It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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