I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
