the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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