i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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